8/31/11

BC Day 13



Day 13: Goals
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Goals.  Wow.  I don't know why I am finding this one so hard to write about.  Goals.  What are my goals?  I think that is my problem.  I don't think I really have any goals.  At least not right now.  If I were to set goals, they are almost always short term.  As in, by the end of the day.  As in, my To Do List.  Get it done and cross it off.  Does that count as goals?  I do not do well with unfinished business.  It leaves me feeling very unsettled.  Long term goals are unfinished business. And that is very stressful.  Long term goals are a great idea for people. I am supportive of others' long term goals.  It never occurred to me that I don't set them.  What does that say about me?  Am I a lazy person?  I mean, who doesn't set goals?

I think this is why I have struggled with this daily challenge.  I have avoided this challenge for days.  Who doesn't set goals?  Me.  Looking back I can think of two goals I've set and accomplished. 1.  I lost over 70 pounds and 2. I've kept it off for 6 years.  I set out to achieve significant weight loss, to become healthy, to exercise and more, but I didn't have a magic number in mind.  I didn't think it was possible to lose more than maybe 20 pounds.  To prove my disbelief, I will share that I had already started to lose weight when I went to have my wedding ring sized...bigger.  I honestly didn't think it was possible for me.  Later I had to have it sized again, much smaller.  A wonderful non-scale victory!  Anyway, weight loss and a healthy life were a goal but even that goal was not very concrete.

Mostly, I just try to live in today and get done what I feel needs done for today.  Things around the house, kids run here and there.  Responsibilities at church.  Phone calls, items mailed, dinner made, etc.  these are the things I see as my goals for the day.  I'd like to say that I am going to aim higher and set a more long term goal.  But I know me and at least at this point in my life, I don't feel it is worth the anxiety and stress that will be sure to accompany me until my goal is met.  Day to day, that is my speed.  Each day is packed from morning til night and a good portion of the day is met with focus and "get it done" attitude.  I'm still not sure if that counts as setting goals or not.  It really is just my To Do List.  But when it comes to goals, its really all I've got.

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