7/22/16

The Power Of Trust




Trust is a necessary part of being human. We aren't meant to be alone and to live this life on our own. But to have part in a life where you depend on others in any way, requires trust.

Some relationships, you just begin with trust. I'm thinking of a child trusting in their parents. It doesn't occur to a child to NOT trust their parent. If a child doesn't trust their parent, it is learned through experiences.

We need trust in friendships. There are many different levels of friendship and the closer the friendship, the deeper the level of trust.

The more vulnerable you are with a person, the more trust is required of you. This is true with family, a significant other and with friends. This becomes tricky because I believe we need at least one person to be real with. One person who knows your strengths and your flaws and accepts you anyway. A safe place.

There are other layers of trust as well. We trust when we contract a service, it will be provided. We trust if we go to work, we will get paid. In general, we trust that when someone says they will do something, they will do it.

The problem is that we are all human. We all make mistakes. We all find ourselves at some point where we have let someone down. And then trust is in jeopardy. Trust can be innate or earned but once it is broken, it is hard to repair. Sometimes, it cannot be repaired.

I know for me, over the past few years I've wrestled with trusting people. I felt let down and betrayed by many people I felt close to and that hurt has been very hard to put aside. I'm no longer angry. I haven't been for some time but if I'm honest, it has made it nearly impossible to try to re-connect to most of those people. When that trust was broken, there wasn't anything left to say. I did attempt to reconcile with a few of those individuals. After some awkward attempts at conversation, I realized there was no going back to the friendships we had. And I no longer trusted them enough to even want to try to start over. This experience has also changed how I go into new friendships. I'm much more guarded. I don't think that's a bad thing, it just is.

Trust is a big deal. It is something we take for granted. Think about the people in your life that you trust. And be thankful. Think about the people in your life that trust you. And be thankful. For most of the people in our lives, trust is earned. And that is a privilege. Be careful with it.


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